Ironically Playful Italian Grammar Rules
- Whoever starts a sentence must finish it.
- Leaning out of the chapter is dangerous.
- Give up the conditional tense to the elderly, women, and the disabled.
- Leave the adverb where you would like to find it.
- Touch the apostrophe and you die.
- The article has been abolished—no complaints will be accepted.
- A well-mannered person does not spit on the essay.
- Do not use exclamation marks after 10 PM.
- No responsibility is taken for unattended adjectives.
- Throw anacolutha in the bin.
- Keep subjects on a leash.
- Do not trample on metaphors.
- Ellipsis points are charged separately.
- Do not use proparoxytones if the road is wet.
- For rhymes, consult the concierge.
- Dialect use is prohibited for those under 16.
- Using a sonnet is forbidden at stops.
- Do not open parentheses while moving.
- The poet is not entitled to a delivery fee.
(Ennio Flaiano, L’uovo di Marx, 1987)
Ennio Flaiano (1910–1972) was an Italian writer, screenwriter, and journalist known for his sharp wit, irony, and satirical take on Italian society.
He was a key collaborator of Federico Fellini, co-writing films such as La Dolce Vita and 8½, and his literary works often explored themes of cynicism, absurdity, and existential disillusionment.
Flaiano’s writing style was marked by brevity, paradox, and a keen sense of humor, making him one of Italy’s most distinctive intellectuals of the 20th century.